Resolutions and Sh*t
Just like that left over lasagna, the year is heating up. The pace has been set and we do seem to be moving rather fast. As always the new resolutions were easy to come by, but what or who is actually, now that it’s time to bring them to life? Eloquent in need but insufficient in deeds. After working my way through some biographies and personal development books last year, I finally came to the realization that none of it is new. The perspective maybe but the epiphanies never.
In the midst of it all, the ability to take pure and consistent action is rare. Tunnel vision set on our goals, while desperately waiting to ‘touch road’ with tires and soles. The obstacles at this point being, the ability to begin, stay consistent and see things through.
I really admire the ones that do, cheers to you.
So far 2021
resembles that first early morning light, when a long road trip is ahead. The final destination might be right where we started or totally unknown. Some people are excited about things they can’t predict and others are more induced with fears. The future just like the resolutions, will always bring with them adversity. So all you can do is begin, stay consistent and see things through.
As soon as I decided to put pen to paper, or finger to keyboard if you will, I knew I didn’t just want to share the usual recipe for a personal development dopamine hit, but share something me and honest as my first piece.
Prior to our involuntary confinement I had spent countless hours mapping out my next chapter and hoping to travel. Making space for my relationship, family and friends. A lot of it virtually but still. Like many a huge part of me mourned the plans that had amounted to nothing.
When the Sci-fi plot became every day I was determined to make the most of the surreal sudden changes. I did so, and though honorable attempts, at the slightest crossroad I would shy away from the point of no return. Countless books, time and money spent on different ideas and random interests. A lot of setup and no launch.
I have always liked the ‘work hard in silence’ adage. So much so that I might have accidentally let it turn into a fear I don’t understand. The pandemic made me realize that it was never time or resources holding me back. It was my imagination.
A great friend of mine and the author of Spare Change, gave me some great no BS advice, that finally gave me the push to publish on Medium. Something I had wanted to do for months but always found a reason to avoid.
‘’Put aside the self preserving entity that ego is, the true source of those initial fears, that all writers must face’’. — Zaineb Afzal.
The message hit like a hammer. I read it twice and was reminded of a speech that I never totally grasped.
One of my favorite movies, Coach Carter. A true story about a coach played by Samuel L. Jackson, that suspended his undefeated team, due to poor academic results. Though always admiring the way it was put together, the message always flew over my head.
Shit does just happen. There is a lot that is not in our control. Shit happens to me and shit happens to everybody. Shit happens for no reason at all and shit happens often. In fact, even just keeping up with all the shit that happens, is hard and unwise to do constantly anyway.
Control vs. not in control, once you can accept the difference, that quote finally makes sense and stillness presents itself. Staying consistent and positive is the best way to make shit smell a whole lot less.
Stillness and failing are underrated and valuable. Each second spent engaged in one or the other you inch closer to whatever it is you wish to accomplish. Choosing to stay away from both as excuses and not even attempting is deliberately choosing to dime your own light.
‘’We are all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.’’ — Timo Cruz/Marianne Williamson
This year I hope we all take our time to really be present. If you fell off the horse, take the time to catch your breath, shake it off and get back up when it feels right. Whatever you do, entertain the fear of falling as little as possible. Also usually when you reach out and listen, answers are offered or they simply creep up on you.
